Whisky Lullaby
by Itaneko-chan
Summary: It's been a month since we were over. It's been a month since I've held you in my arms. It's been a month since I've called you mine. It's been a month since you've told me that you've loved me. It's been a month since I've smiled. It's been a month since I've laughed. It's been a month…since I've been happy.


(A/N: I've -for some reason- been watching sad Tamaki x Kyouya videos on youtube…and I've been meaning to write a depressing TamaKyo oneshot… So here you go. /holding a tissue box up/ I'm not sure if you'll need it, but here~. Disclaimer- I don't own Ouran High School Host Club.)

* * *

I thought I was over you.

I thought I didn't care anymore.

_I thought I was fine._

Apparently, I'm not.

But I'll say I'm fine.

You know why?

You'd die if you saw what I've become.

* * *

I can see you two walking down the hall.

The two of you are practically connected at the hip- kind of like the two of us used to be.

I want to be content with just watching the two of you.

_I don't want to be jealous._

But I can't help myself.

You've got a bright smile- it can make anyone happy- even me.

Those violet eyes of yours- I'm drowning when I look into them.

The way you're -just so happy- everyday- I couldn't hope to be like you.

I could only love you- with hope- that you would love me back.

* * *

It's been a month since we were over.

It's been a month since I've held you in my arms.

It's been a month since I've called you mine.

It's been a month since you've told me that you've loved me.

It's been a month since I've smiled.

It's been a month since I've laughed.

It's been a month…since I've been _happy_.

* * *

-"Hello Tamaki."

"…"

"Tamaki?"

"…"

"Tamaki, what's wrong?"

"…I…"

"You?"

"I…I can't do this, I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I…I love her, Kyouya."

"I see…"

"I'm sorry, Kyouya."

"Don't be."

"Mon ami?"

"Treat her well, Tamaki."

"I will!"

"Don't make her cry."

"I won't."

Don't leave her like you left me.

Don't hurt her the way you hurt me.

* * *

I could't believe what you had told me.

I thought it was one big joke- until I saw the tears on your cheeks.

Have I been making you unhappy?

Have I been selfishly keeping you for myself?

Have I?

I'm sorry my dear.

I have, haven't I?

It seems I was never made to love you, anyway.

They say that true love lasts forever.

I guess it wasn't true then.

* * *

I would like you to know something.

I have a new best friend now.

It's sitting next to me now, in my other hand, as I'm writing, in fact.

Would you like to see it?

Maybe you can see it later.

Maybe never.

It depends on whether I'm alive to show it to you.

My best friend likes to leave red lines on my wrists.

Blood drips from the lines, but I don't care.

My best friend is always there for me when the day is bad.

It's just that I can't show very many people my best friend.

They would get mad if they met him.

After all, my best friend doesn't get along with a lot of people.

He does not appreciate getting used to cook.

He does not appreciate being used for things…other than to cut.

He does not appreciate not being washed properly after I use him.

My best friend is making another mark on my wrist now.

It looks like a heart.

Now he is carving a line through the middle of the heart.

The heart is broken now.

I like this picture.

See?

My best friend and I get along perfectly fine.

* * *

I'm dying now.

Did you notice me leave class?

I bet you didn't.

You're still thinking about that date you have with her later on tonight.

Oh, you remember, don't you?

You've been posting the nights you're going to go on a date on the Host Club website- the one that I'm managing.

Now back to the topic.

I am dying and I won't live for much longer.

I probably have a week at the most.

I'm not beating around the bush to make this any better for you.

My father has a heart problem.

Guess what?

It's hereditary.

Did it sink in yet?

I hope it has.

I'm not breaking it down for you any more than this.

But don't worry.

I'm not going to let a heart problem take my life away.

I'd rather take my own.

* * *

Here's my last entry.

I'm writing my will in this as well.

My black notebooks will all go to Renge- she can manage the club in my steed since she is the manager.

My computer will go to her as well.

My clothing and anything else they want will go to the twins.

Honey and Mori- I do not think that there is anything in my possession that you two would desire, but feel free to roam around my room in search of anything.

Haruhi- there is nothing I have for you.

But if I can ask one thing of you, then it's to take care of him.

Don't make him cry.

Don't let him get depressed over my passing- I'm not worth it.

My dearest- I've set out plans already.

I'm leaving you everything I have that no one else takes.

I'm leaving you this note.

I'm leaving you my everything.

I'm leaving you.

Hopefully my maid carries out her job- because then- you'll find my heart as well.

* * *

"No…"

This isn't happening!

"No, Kyouya, no…."

He wouldn't do this...

"KYOUYA!"

* * *

(A/N: I was crying while writing this! Please review, follow, and favorite if you think I should maybe write a sequel to this [in Tamaki's POV] that takes place slightly during this and then afterwards. Thank you all for reading this far!)


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